Capa: (https://weheartit.com/entry/342626790?context_set=175718791-folklore&context_type=collection)
Roman Holiday had always made me think about him. It reminds me of that perfect week.
"Make a wish!", he said. It was our first time in Rome. We had a gelatto in one hand and a penny in the other one. Having a gelatto at midnight in Rome, with him was... something else.
"Shouldn't we turn our backs to the fount and tossing behind our heads?" I answer, because I had already seen so many movies about making founts wishes.
"No, that's superstition!" he ironically said and we both laughed so loud, we probably woke our Italian neighbors.
At that time, I didn’t ask for anything. I already had all I could wish for in the world.
It would be such a lame party. I wasn't feeling like waking up and going to any co-worker's engagement. I wasn't in the mood for love in a long time. I had been busy making myself busy. I started doing all I could so I could avoid thinking. And it worked, it really worked. I was selling my books like water and had been what was good in the world news for a cool bunch of time. I had traveled around the world signing things and meeting a lot of people, but in all the four corners of the world, there was a time when I froze because I had thought I'd seen him. But it never was, of course. I took a shower thinking about how long it was since I haven't turning the radio on because I was always afraid of listening to his voice.
The place was beautiful. White roses everywhere, white clothes and even white wine was being served. I greet the brand-new fiancée, my co-worker, that was always traveling around with me and still managed to find a boyfriend. She was sparkling with joy. So pretty and so... somebody else's. I saw the ring and took a sip of the wine. It was bitter. Or was it just my mouth? I felt something in my stomach and, suddenly, in the middle of the party, there was him. Wearing a pretty, tall (taller than him), blonde girl around his neck like a jewelry. Even brighter than the fiancées ring. My stomach turned into stone. "I can't lose my temper now", I whisper to myself. It was really him this time.
"Honey, are you okay?" a fiancée’s friend asked me and I said "Yes, sure. I'm just so happy about them", and I let a tear drop.
I got out for fresh air. "So, he has been dating, uhn?" I thought. But, of course he was dating. He was rich, famous and... gorgeous. But, the most important question here was "What the heck is he doing here?". As soon as I thought about that, he was standing there, by my side, like a ghost.
"Fancy party, don't you think?", he shouted.
"They are paying Sophia well, I guess", I said, with my trembled smile.
"How are you, doing, sweetie?" he asked.
"I'm fine, actually, being busy, what about you? Touring a lot?"
"Yeah, kind of" he said, looking down. "I've read your book"
He was smiling and his white teeth were shining like little pearls. His hair was so curly and so beautiful.
"Please, don't tell me how you like it", I said, always too scared of his opinion.
"It's great! You are a great name of literature around the world, you know that?"
I laughed and replied "It’s what they say".
"Camille was jealous of you, she knew you would been here."
"Oh, so... this Camille... you together?" I asked, already aware of the answer.
"Yes, she's a dancer. I met her on internet, can you believe? We are getting well, she's been living in my apartment for a week now, she's funny"
Too much information, I thought "She seems cool", I said. "Does she know somebody here?"
"Yep, she's Carlo's friend. He is her manager, actually"
"What a tiny little world, uhn?" I said.
"Tell me about it, I saw you in London last week. Having a latte. Jake said that I was crazy, but I'm pretty sure it was you, wasn't it? You were at the bus stop, black clothes."
That was just... unbelievable.
"Tell Jake you're not crazy yet. It was me."
As soon as his smile was growing, she appeared, out of nowhere, as a guardian of all his joy. Like he wasn't supposed to be happy while she was not around.
"Hey, Josh, I've looked for you everywhere" she said louder than the music. She had pronounced his name with an "a", like in "Jash". Simply awful.
"Hey, baby, this is Lauren" he said, without taking his eyes out of me once. And Lauren, this is Camille, my friend, I mean, my girl, you know? she's my girlfriend" he said, clumsy with words, I could tell.
In the moment we said hello, we said goodbye. I memorized his back, his hair, his hands tangled with hers. I memorized his suit and his smile as something framed in marble. I will never live enough to forget him, and sometimes, I think neither will he, to forget me. I'm still trying to find peace with the knowledge of this fact. In the next toast, he was gone.
Por Camila Machado
Comments